Well, Sir, Someday, I’d Like To Be A… A Dentist

I have a long long overdue dentist appointment today and all I can think of is how he’s probably have to pull all my teeth and I’m gonna be toothless.
toothless

I don’t have anything against someone who wants to be a dentist.
You go girl.
But after having braces and cavities as a kid I’m just like no… hard pass.
I take care of my teeth but I drink lots of coffee and I know he’s gonna be like “wtf” and I’m gonna be like “coffee rules” and he’s gonna tell me to cut back and I’m going to cry.
I need an adultier adult to go with me or something.
This is too much.
I’ve been freaking out for literally weeks.
I had to call to make my appointment AT WORK so the girls in the office with me wouldn’t let me back out.
Ugh.
Please don’t take all my teefers away.
dentist

Actually I’m drinking coffee right now and my appointment is in exactly one hour.
Lord help.
Can they just put you out for a checkup?
Like, is that a thing?
No sir, I know I have no cavities and I have been overreacting for weeks for nothing and all this is is a simple cleaning but give me the gas.
I can’t be the first person to think that.
I mean I’m SURE people have ACTUAL dentist fears, not just me being cray.
ALSO I gag when I brush my teeth so like, what if I throw up on him?
Like has that happened before or would I be the first one?
I know they tell you to breathe through your nose but mine is stopped up and I can’t breathe through my nose!
Oh boy.
This just seems like a big hot mess and I can’t deal.
hysterical

I should have worn my retainers to bed last night.
And like, probably all the time.
Dammit.

I need more coffee.

XOXO

P.S. – If you follow me on Snapchat you’re probably gonna get the full, crazy, overreacting story so… you’re welcome.

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