Eyes Wide Shut

There’s very few people that know literally everything about me (thank you, you know who’s) and that’s the way I like it.
I don’t care if you think I’m a 27 year old child, nerd, loser, winner, immature, mature… whatever.
Letting people know the real you these days seems like a challenge.
Everyone has something to say, not everyone will love your decisions and think you’re too this or you’re not that, no one is going to be happy for you like you want them to be a majority of the time.
That’s just the world we live in.
I’ve come to accept the fact that I can’t please 3/4 of the people I thought I didn’t have to work to please and I’m working on making peace with that.
I’m normally a people person, a people pleaser so work with me here… it’s not super easy.
I’m tired of all the negativity, the words they think don’t sit in my brain and resonate with me for a while and make me insecure or scared or whatever it is.
I can’t deal with that anymore so I’m working on being just done.
Doing what you want in your one life shouldn’t be an issue for anyone but you, so why does everyone think they need to interfere all the time?
Stop spreading the words that hurt, stop judging and being crazy, just go with it.
I think when you grow up sometimes it’s hard for people to see… you’re still their little girl/boy, you’re still their baby and you’ll never be ‘grown’ but it happens and it’s life and we have to deal with it.
Change is hard and I get that, but, what are you doing when you’re talking to them like they’re still 13?
I can tell you, you’re doing nothing good.
Everyone grows up, everyone has something to deal with and everyone does things you’re not going to like but you have to realize it’s not your issue.
If you wanna be mad at my life, go for it.
If you don’t agree with my life, go for it.
If you think I’m 1000 different things and want to be negative, go for it.
I just don’t want to hear it.
I’m taking control, I’m making some moves, I’m doing me.
You can come along for the ride or you can get out and go… your choice.
The time is over of me pleasing everyone, me working to make sure everyone’s feelings are spared when it’s normally my feelings that are getting hurt, me not being happy with my life.
It’s been a long time coming.



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